I am 44 years old...and I have 7 kids who range in age from 20 down to almost 1. If I did not have "other people's kids," this would be the very first year all my biological kids would be in school all day. Isn't that supposed to be the mom equivalent of FREEDOM? Like serving your sentence and finally being released? Or...maybe it's an "opportunity" to return to that overrated work world...to stand up and shed my Mom attire...if only for a few hours each day. To have lunch hours and commutes and a schedule with meetings and phone calls that have nothing to do with children...
I did the math the other day. If this youngest angel stays, I will be almost 88 years old when he is MY age. NO more math!
I look at other families with 2.2 children and sometimes I wonder WHY my heart was not content there. A house, cars, vacations....a life in sight that does not have handprints all over every surface, sticky floors, bats & balls all over the yard or laundry that can literally be scaled by mountain goats. Not doubling (tripling?) recipes? Not shopping in bulk? No refereeing squabbles? Not figuring out how to explain the subtle nuances that make up a child who SEES color - but embraces and celebrates it!?
1 comments:
Lori,
This blog entry brings me to tears because I feel so much of what you said. I took much longer than you to jump back into mothering a baby. My youngest were 14 when I finally began my adventure into fostering. But, I cannot be content with a life of travel and freedom, it just seems so empty to me, spending the money on myself when I know there are children who don't have their basic needs met of food, clothing, shelter and LOVE. You inspire me, make me feel like a slug at times (LOL) but definitely make me want to do more! I am proud to call you friend. (Mary Lettenmair)
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